Getting To Know Madame Ovary

I’m in my fifties and until a few days ago I was confident I knew my ovaries fairly well.

Not only had pregnancy and motherhood matured our relationship, but with the personal attack of menstruation over, the arrival of menopause meant that if nothing else about my body was predictable, at least my ovaries were.

I had, I was certain, crossed the finish line.

But then something weird happened. I felt myself ovulate.

What. The. Fuck?

I thought this was impossible but apparently not.

Naturally, I took to the internet where I found a whopping ONE, twenty-year-old case study on post-menopausal ovulation—not surprising given only two-million American women are clobbered over the head by menopause each year.

With nowhere left to turn, I did what every other desperate menopausal maniac must do – I listened to my body.

Over the last five decades my ovaries have been trying to force into my head the same old messages, all of which I forget again and again.

One random ovulation compelled me to lay them out in black and white (and pink and red) to avoid forgetting them again. Hope you find them helpful.

Madame Ovary’s 5 Friendly Reminders

1. I don’t make the rules

2. Nothing is infinite

3. Don’t take me for granted

4. Change is inevitable

5. Ignore me at your own risk